Memories and Traditions

When you experience a major family loss, the void is massive and deep. The way you did life with someone for so many years is like losing a limb. It’s painful and always present. With the holidays come numerous triggers with a boatload of memories that coming flooding back. Surviving the holidays last year took courage and planning to navigate the unfamiliar course of grief. Somewhere back in the fall, my children and I decided we had to plan a trip to get away for Christmas. The plan developed and became something to look forward to. We knew that our first Christmas was going to be tough. Our getaway took us to a completely different environment, without the familiar traditions of home. However, in our getaway, we still carried on the tradition of attending a Christmas Eve service. The church settings were different, but the message of the baby born in Bethlehem was the same. Having a plan and making it happen was helpful.

A change of environment proved to be a place where we could also reflect and recall our memories together. With tears of sorrow and gratitude, I was able to retell my favorite memories of my husband when my children were little, and listen to their memories as well. It was a way to remember and honor the one we missed.

Being able to talk about your loved one and what you miss is a treasured gift. Yes, there will be tears. Get a tissue box and let them flow. Your tears express your love for your loved one. No need to apologize.

In The First Year of Loss?

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