Notes on Hope Devotional — Grateful, yet Grieving

Asking Why

Psalm 42:5 (NIV)
Why, my soul, are you downcast?
    Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
    for I will yet praise him,
    my Savior and my God.

During the first months after my husband died, I went on a deep dive into the Psalms. In my quest to find words to describe my pain, I found Psalm 42, a lament and a source of hope and comfort. Reading this passage was like peeking inside someone’s journal, full of feelings and questions. I found what the psalmist wrote to be weighty and real, as I clearly identified with the words on the page.

The “why” question the psalmist is asking is much like what we ask when we are disappointed, discouraged, or depressed; “What’s wrong with me?” We are trying to determine our feelings and what’s causing them. Right at the beginning, the psalmist expresses a deep desire and longing for God. It sets up the rest of the chapter as he says, “his tears are his food” (verse 3), and pours out his pain, talking to himself, knowing that God is listening. Fear did not keep the psalmist from being honest with himself and God.

Interestingly, what he does next is a recap of where he’s been with God in the past. Like a Facebook memory that pops up on our phones, he has evidence of God’s presence and power in his life. While in the present moment, he’s in pain, he doesn’t have spiritual amnesia. He has a history to recall of God’s faithfulness, leading him to remember and revisit what he knows to do: put his hope in God.

While he’s telling himself to “put your hope in God,” he inserts a little word in the next phrase that might go unnoticed yet. Mark Vroegop, pastor and author of “Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy” says, “Yet means that I choose to keep asking God for help, to cry out to him for my needs, even when the pain of life is raw.”

We may be in a season of pain, asking questions that don’t have answers and facing an unknown future. However, we can pour out our pain and ask honest questions while knowing God is listening. In remembering where we’ve been with God in the past, we can place our hope and trust that we will yet praise Him.

Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank You for your presence in our lives, even in the pain and problems we face. Thank You that we can pour out our hearts and know that You are listening, seeing, knowing where we are. Help us know that our feelings tell us where we are, not who we are. We are loved and know that You are with us. Give us hope as we trust in You. In Jesus Name, Amen.